my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
