May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
