I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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