I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
