Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
