I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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