You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
she told me i tasted like america
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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