They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
