What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
