I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
