Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
