People in love make me want to vomit
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Randomize
