He uses pillows to masturbate.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
