I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
