I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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