I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
