We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
