U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Drunk is not a location!
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
