I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
