I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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