so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
