He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
