It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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