is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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