I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
