I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
