i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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