No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
