It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
