I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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