Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
