He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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