Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
