wanna go halves on a baby?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
