you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
