i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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