honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
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