we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
