shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
