I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
