At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
