I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
