just survived the first fart of the relationship.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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