I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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