We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize