so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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