Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Two words: blizzard sex
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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