The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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