I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
