Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
