The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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