What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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