I feel like I'm in dance class right now
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She bit a glass in half.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
