So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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