how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
