omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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