went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
don't judge my taste in strippers
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
