Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
