I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
