Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
