So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize