Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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