so that wasnt chicken after all
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
