I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
