Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
