You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Randomize
