how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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