Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
